Domestic Abuse: Are You In An Abusive Relationship?

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While anyone can experience domestic abuse and violence, people still tend to excuse or deny it especially when it’s psychological. To end an abusive relationship, one must acknowledge the signs first. If you see that your partner is abusive, ask for help now. You don’t have to live in this kind of life.

What Is Domestic Abuse?

People often think of domestic abuse as physical violence only on women, but this can also happen in a close relationship or a marriage wherein one person tries to control or hurt the other. The abuser’s goal is to control you, and they’re not afraid to use guilt, shame, and threats to hurt you and the ones around you so that you would submit. It can also happen to any relationship. Men can also experience domestic abuse. No matter your gender, abusive behavior isn’t acceptable.

According to Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D., “Just as entrapment encapsulates the experience for victims/survivors, entitlement characterizes the experience for abusers.”

Help for Men Who Are Being Abused: Recognizing The Signs And Getting Out Safely

Usually, domestic abuse starts with threats and verbal abuse, and it escalates to physical violence. Physical injuries are a visible sign of danger but other consequences to this like emotional and psychological damage can lead to low self-esteem, and depression.  Acknowledge the situation first before you can break free.

Signs Of An Abusive Relationship


One of the most significant signs is being afraid of your partner. If you always watch what you do and say to prevent something wrong, your relationship is unhealthy. There are other signs too like being belittled and controlled by your partner and feeling helpless.

If you want to know whether you’re in an abusive relationship or not, then, here are some questions for you. If you answer YES to a lot of questions, then, there is clear evidence that you’re in one.

Are You In An Abusive Relationship?

Your Inner Thoughts And Feelings

Do you:

Feel terrified of your partner?

Avoid specific topics not to anger him or her?

Feel that you can’t do anything right by your partner?

Believe that you deserve to be hurt?

Wonder if you’re crazy?

Feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior

Does your partner:

Humiliate you?

Criticize you?

Mistreat you that you don’t want others to see?

Ignore or belittle your opinions or accomplishments?

Blame you for their behavior?

See you as their property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Your Partner’s Violent Threats


Does your partner:

Have an unpredictable temper?

Threaten to take your children away?

Force you to have sex?

Destroy your belongings?

Threaten to hurt you?

Threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior

“Anyone who threatens violence doesn’t care about your mental, emotional, or physical well-being, Dr. McGinn says. This behavior is considered both physically and psychologically abusive because it demonstrates that your partner is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure things go their way.” – Dr. Lata McGinn, Clinical Psychologist.

Does your partner:

Act extremely jealous and possessive?

Control where you go or what you do?

Keep you from seeing your friends or family?

Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

Always check up on you?

Physical And Sexual Abuse

This is when someone uses violence or force against someone that would end up with injuries or physical harm. This is a crime whether it happens inside the family or not. Contact the police immediately.

Joni E. Johnston, PsyD warns us about the greatest risk factor: strangulation. “Batterers who strangle their victims are more likely to engage in other extreme acts of violence; it’s a message that there are no limits to which he won’t go. The odds are, he’s willing to kill,” she explained.

If you’re being forced to participate in any sexual activity that you don’t want to be part of, then, it’s sexual abuse even if it’s with your spouse. It is an act of domestic violence. People who are being physically and sexually abused by their partners are at high risk of being killed or seriously injured.

How To Stop This

The only way for you to stop this abuse is to seek help from proper channels. Go to the police or better yet, call them if you are having these problems. It is never okay to be forced and threatened. Nobody owns you but yourself. Be brave enough to protect yourself more so from your partner or spouse.

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