The 2019 Women Event was a badly needed time for my best friend and me. We both just got dumped by our long-time partners, and for what? Joey, that cheating bum and Ella’s boyfriend, left her for a 27-year-old temp in his office. Cliché much, I know. Darell, on the other hand, with his prim and proper ways, turned out to be gay. And he just professed his love for Alvin, his “best friend.” It was all over Instagram and Twitter.
So, yeah, two middle-aged (40 something) women who are single and broken-hearted, were in that event. I mean, we just did whatever we could to bring the pain level down. We took yoga, and we also did those meditation thingies. I enrolled in a gym recently while Ella tried badminton. I told her it was lame and that she should join me at the gym. Still, we were nowhere near our comfort zone. They were shitty partners, and yet, it was too painful. I mean, why is that? Why can’t we just move one quickly and painlessly?
A friend of ours said that we were grieving; that is why it is too painful. She was in the event, also, and a relationship’s counselor. I found it surprising that she said we were grieving. As in, grief? I did not know that a break up might have been a cause of grief. She then explained to us that grief is not just about the death of a loved one. It also encompasses the death of a relationship, either romantic or platonic, losing a valued possession, or cutting ties with someone you once loved. It can cause grief and pain, and a cycle must be passed through before everything will be okay again.
And so, we believed her, and she was right. It took a bit of time for us both to recover because even if those men were shitface, we once loved them. The event was heaven-sent. It pushed us to start with our moving on process.