September 27, 2019 | Attitude And Behavior | No Comments
Get Out Of This Relationship, Quick!
Some women think that having a jealous or controlling boyfriend is cute. You hear them say – “Oh, he loves me so much. He doesn’t want any other guy to look at me and get near me.” And then, they swoon. This is a dangerous path to tread on because manipulative and controlling partners are mentally unstable. In the end, they will hurt you if not physically, verbally, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally.
In addition, Andrea Bonior, Ph.D. says, “Sometimes, the emotional manipulation is complex enough that the person who is being controlled actually believes that they themselves are the villain, or that they are extremely lucky that their controlling partner “puts up” with them. Whether controlling behavior leads to more severe emotional or physical abuse or not, it is not a healthy situation.”
Here are more signs of controlling partners, as a continuation of the blog’s Part 1:
Not Respecting The Need For An Alone Time
Sometimes you may feel you need time to be alone for you to reflect and recharge. However, your partner may misinterpret this as you wanting to escape from his or her company.
Making You “Earn” Trust Or Other Good Treatment
You are then required always to let him, or her get full access to your messages so you can earn his or her trust. This is unhealthy as trust should be given without any condition.
Presuming You’re Guilty Until Proven Innocent
A controlling partner is skilled enough in making you believe in his or her justification. He or she may tell you or worse present evidence to make you think that you had committed a “crime” as it may seem. They do this so you may realize that you should not do the same thing again but do the things he or she is expected you to do instead. Dr. Lata McGinn, a clinical psychologist, says, “While they might be battling their own insecurities or were affected by infidelity in past relationships, it’s unfair of them to continuously question your commitment to the relationship without any real reason to do so.”
Manipulating You Until You Get Tired Of Arguing That You Will Relent
Your partner may be too argumentative that you don’t want to deal with it anymore, so you zip your mouth and let him or her does what he or she wants.
Making You Feel Bad About Your Beliefs
Your partner may let you feel that you are small and not “enough” for him or her. It is better if your partner allows you to engage in a discussion where both of your share ideas freely and concerning each other’s views.
Making You Feel That You Don’t “Measure Up”
Your partner may directly or indirectly make you feel that you are not enough. Your partner may be lifting his or her accomplishments as compared to yours. You may have been compared to his or her exes and that you should be grateful for being in a relationship with him or her.
Making Fun Of You
Humor and teasing your partner can be a fundamental way of interaction with both of you. However, your partner may be doing this with a little touch of criticism about you and thus hurt you. When you try to open it up to her, you are being misinterpreted of not being able to weigh serious matters from merely jokes.
Uncomfortable Sexual Interactions
Abusive and controlling behavior can also be exhibited even in sexual interactions that it becomes upsetting already.
Unwillingness To Hear Your Opinion
Your opinions are not being acknowledged. It is as if you don’t have a voice. When you talk, you are being interrupted. “Destructive communication is relationship quicksand. The further you slide into it, the further down you sink,” says Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D.
Pressuring You Towards Unhealthy Behaviors And Vices
You may be forced to try things even if you unwanted it likes smoking a cigarette, drinking liquor or trying to take illegal drugs.
Making Your Doubt Yourself
Your partner may be planting seeds of doubt whether you can do things or not. This may lead to lower self-esteem. This is another way they can throw away your autonomy, that makes you more beholden to them—and then, charmingly serving their purposes.
If you notice more than a couple of these signs within your relationship, take it seriously and solve the problem immediately by leaving. The more you take it for granted, the more it would deepen. Things will get worse, and you will suffer immensely.